Future Ted: [v.o.] The next day, at the university, I had a surprise visitor.
Ted: What are you doing here? Oh, God! You're dating one of my students. It's Rachel, isn't it? Barney, I know she wears provocative sweaters, but she's 19! Now I'm gonna have to hear all about it, right? Go on, tell me every detail.
Barney: No, you pent-up old perv.