Loretta: But if you want, I can tell you who your father really is.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And at that moment, Barney suddenly saw his childhood more clearly than he ever had before.
[flashback to young Barney struggling to bounce a basketball in gym as Loretta talks to the coach:]
Coach: I'm sorry, but your son can't be on the team. He's terrible. [exits]
Young Barney: What did Coach say, Ma?
Loretta: He said you're simply too good to be on the team. It's not fair to the other boys. But that's okay. We can just play together in the backyard.
[flashback to Barney's birthday party:]
Young Barney: Why didn't anyone come?
Loretta: Oh, you know what, dear? Apparently there was a mix-up with the mail. I just got this letter from the postmaster general.
Young Barney: "Dear Barney, I sincerely apologize for losing all the invitations you sent out to your eighth birthday party."
[flashback to Loretta, dressed as Santa Claus, putting presents beneath the three as young Barney and James watch]
[present: Barney takes the piece of paper from Loretta and tears it up:]
Loretta: Barney.
Barney: It's okay, Mom. I don't need it.
Loretta: But it's your father.
Barney: I already have a father. And his name... is Loretta.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, your Uncle Barney grew up without a dad, and it always made him feel incomplete. But as he hugged Loretta, surrounded by the boxed-up remnants of his happy childhood he realized he had
one hell of a mom.