Ted: Well, of course, hell is an interesting concept, isn't it? I've always loved to imagine it as Dante did in The Divine Comedy. If you'll allow me. In the original Italian. [speaks Italian]
Ted: [inner monologue] I can't believe this. I'm reciting The Divine Comedy in its original Italian, and nobody's making fart noises! Wow, this is weird. I've never gotten this far. You know, I actually sound kind of douchey. My God. I'm out of control. Listen to me. I'm completely unleashed. I'm the biggest douche on the planet.
Ted: [continues speaking Italian]
Ted: [inner monologue] I wish somebody would stop me.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then, somebody did.
Ted: [cell phone beeps] Scusi un attimo.