Ted: Were you always this pretty? Or are you gonna give me that whole "Oh, in high school, I was really shy and awkward" line?
Tiffany: I was shy and awkward. I was like 100 pounds heavier and I had these crazy buck teeth.
Ted: Seriously?
Tiffany: No. I've always been hot. What are you gonna do? Do you know who else would love this teacup pig?
Ted: Hmm.
Tiffany: My boyfriend.