Barney: Guys, guys, guys, we're on me now. [cell phone ringing] And it is getting interesting. Look at these texts. Read this one. Yowza! Now look at this one. Does she text her mother with those fingers? Now look at this one. Or this one. Or this one. Or this one.
Ted: Okay, okay, okay, buddy. How about you do this? Go nail that girl, then read your texts.
Barney: I can't do that, Ted. I just can't hook up with a girl if there is a hotter girl out there with whom up can be hooked.
Lily: Isn't there always a hotter girl?
Barney: I know. Isn't it wonderful? [answers phone] Go for Barney. Cut to the chase, what's your cup size? Oh, hi, Mom.