Ted: "Archisexture." That is not how you spell "Buckminster Fuller."
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, pornography is bad. And so, I was getting rid of that vile pornography right away...
[Ted picks up the large chest of porn]
Ted: I am getting rid of this vile pornography right away.
Future Ted: When something terrible happened.
[Ted trips, the chest falls to the floor and one of the videos flies around the room before landing in the VHS player:]
Ted: Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.