Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, it's a miracle that I ended up on that street corner. Especially when you consider how easy it would have been not to end up there. I mean, when I first stepped out of the apartment, I almost went right instead of left. Why didn't I go right? Well, to answer that, we have to go back a few days. As you know, back then, your Aunt Robin hosted a morning show.
Robin: [on TV] Now Eunice here makes all of these purses herself. They're hand embroidered with the world's finest silk. And each one takes months to make. I cannot emphasize how much work goes into... [Robin throws up in the purse] Go to weather, you idiots.