Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, back to 2007, it seems like everyone belonged to these silly things called gyms. The idea was you'd pay them lots of money to run around and lift heavy things. Biggest rip-off in the world. And yet people fell for it. Including me.
Ted: Oh, hum, forgot my wallet.
Future Ted: It started with one of those moments when you realize you're not as in shape as you want to be.
Ted: That's further than it looks. Coupon's on my dresser. That's too far. Forget it. Please don't judge me.