Ted: Actually, we're, uh, we're thinking of skipping the strippers.
Barney: You... you want to have a party without strippers.
Future Ted: [v.o.] This was the worse thing I could have said. You see, uncle Barney loved cooking up bachelor parties. And it was always the same recipe. You start with a slightly cramped hotel suite. Arrange the chairs in a circle. Fill them with your closest friends. Turn the heat up to about 90. Pump in a metric ton of cigar smoke. And then, right in the middle of the room, you throw in a girl. But not a beautiful girl. No, if this girl was ever beautiful, it was two kids, three tattoos and one pesky substance abuse problem ago.