Ted: [on the phone] Lily!
Lily: Merry Christmas, assface.
Ted: Um, Lily? Where are the Christmas decorations?
Lily: At my apartment.
Ted: You want to bring them back so we can celebrate Christmas together, please?
Lily: Ted, do you know what I would do if one of my kindergartners used that kind of language? I would be on the phone with their parents.
Ted: Yeah, I'm not a kindergartner.
Lily: Exactly. You know what that word means. You know that calling people names is mean and hurtful, assface.