Ted: I'm not taking a prostitute to Robin's banquet.
Barney: The only people who will know are you, me and Marshall. No one will suspect a thing. They'll just see you with this unbelievably smoking hot girl and... Okay, that's a little bit suspicious. Look, I'm just trying to expand your horizons a little bit tonight. But if you're not interested, fine, I'm out 500 bucks. Whatever.
Ted: 500 bucks?
Barney: Ted, you're my cabron. You think I'm gonna stick you with some toothless tranny from the Port Authority?