Ted: Barney, I'm not bringing a date. Even if I wanted to, the thing's in two hours.
Barney: So get an escort.
Ted: By "escort," you mean prostitute?
Barney: Why not?
Ted: Because... gross?
Barney: Oh, gross. What, you have some puritanical hang-up about prostitution? Dude, it's the world's oldest profession.
Marshall: You really think that's true?
Barney: Oh, yeah. I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers, like, an extra fish for putting out.
Marshall: Aha, so then the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You've been lawyered.