Robin: Well, I'm more worried about taking vows with this useless pile of garbage in a few hours. What do we do?
Ted: You guys see the irony here? The only person who could possibly get Barney back on his feet is Barney.
Future Ted: [v.o.] See, over the years, we'd all come to experience something Barney called:
[flashback:]
Barney: Stinson's Hangover Fixer Elixir. The most effective post-bender-head's-too-tender-ender from here to Denver.
Ted: What's in it?
Barney: Glad you asked. Columbia University, 1941.
Ted: I take it back.
Barney: [v.o.] President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who we all know is most famous for being a world-class drunk, commissioned a top-secret project: Develop an elixir to cure the common hangover. And what brilliant scientific mind did boozy old FDR pick to head up this historic task?
Ted: Look, my head really hurts. Let's just speed this along. You're clearly ripping off the story of the Manhattan Project, which was run by Dr. Robert Oppenheimer so I'm gonna guess it was your distant relative... Barnert Stinsonheimer?
Barney: Somebody's read their history books. The Too Many Manhattans Project hit a few snags at first. The first batch exploded, which sounded kind of like this: Boom!
Ted: Oh, you suck.
Barney: Just let me finish. But the second batch, sadly also exploded. Boom!
Ted: Oh! Why are you here right now?
Barney: Do you want to hear the story?
Ted: Absolutely not. Please leave. After some trial and error, Dr. Stinsonheimer finally found the magic formula.
Ted: Hang on. Funyuns? Tantrum soda?
Barney: Sure.
Ted: In 1941?
Barney: Sure. They haven't made new Tantrum since then, it lasts a while. Anyway, the elixir was such a success he was awarded the Bro-Bel Prize. True story. Boom!