Marshall: Oh! And now, the best thing to come out of my cross-country trip, a little segment I like to call: "Embarrassing Souvenirs I Picked Up From Ted's Childhood Home."
[Marshall picks up a tote bag which reads "Shaker Heights Debate Team"]
Marshall: "Totally awesome Ted." What, did you steal this off some kid named Ted? I'm just getting warmed up here.
Ted: This is fun. We're all... I'm having fun.
Marshall: When you squeeze this toy, a recording of Ted says, "I love you, Mommy."
Robin: Oh, that's sweet. Why would we make fun of him for that?
Marshall: He gave it to her when he was 19.
Ted: [on recording] I love you, Mommy.
Marshall: And lastly, a photo of young Ted and his best friend dressed up like cowboys.
Lily: No. All right, leave him alone.
Marshall: His best friend was a balloon.
Robin: I wanna see that picture more than I wanna get married. Ha-ha-ha!
Marshall: I hate you so much.