[title: Robin Takes the Cake]
Marshall: [v.o.] As Robin told her tale, Ted knew she'd made a massive boo-boo. For stealing someone's wedding cake is terribly bad juju.
Ted: Robin, I'm beside myself to see what you've become! You must return this cake at once!
Robin: I can't!
Ted: Why not?
Robin: 'Cause... [takes bite] Yum.
Marshall: [v.o.] Ted gasped, for he had never seen a brazen act so vicious. Robin felt remorse, and yet...
Robin: Oh, God, this is delicious!
Marshall: [v.o.] So one piece led to two, then three, then five, then 17. She savaged that poor cake like some rapacious wolverine. Eating, gobbling, munching, so the frenzied night wore on. And by the time your mom arrived, the cake was halfway gone.
Lily: I came as soon as I got word. So how bad is the damage?
Ted: See for yourself the product of her cake-in-gullet crammage!
Robin: Half a cake? What have I done?! The world shall not forgive it! This day will live in infamy. I never shall outlive it! For I have become the girl that eats her feelings, don't mistake it. I think I need to get out of this chair before I break it.