[title: "The Kidney". Ted is in MacLaren's in a hospital gown:]
Ted: I still don't get why someone would leave the hospital without changing into their clothes first. Over.
Barney: [over ear piece] Ted, this is my thing. So just... okay? Over. Okay? Over.
Woman: Are you all right?
Ted: What? Oh. Yes, yes, I'm fine. Tomorrow, I'm donating a kidney to my best friend. My best friend Barney. Not Marshall. Barney. Marshall's so lame. Anyway, just wanted to grab one last drink, in case, you know, I don't make it.
Woman: You are so brave.
Ted: Hey, listen. Before I give my best friend this organ, how about... Nope. Nope, I'm not saying that. I did hear you, but I'm not saying that. Because I'm not.
Woman: Are you okay?
Ted: One second. I know you put a lot of work into this. I understand that. I understand that. I understand that. [long pause] I understand that. Why can't I just talk to her? Maybe we'll hit it off... Fine. Copy that. How about I give you a different organ? My penis.
[The woman throws a drink in Ted's face]
Barney: You said it wrong.
Ted: I did not say it wrong!