Ted: Wow. Seeing them in there all together like that, they're a family, you know? That's what I want.
Robin: Oh, Ted, I'm glad we're friends again.
Ted: Me, too.
Robin: Because as your friend, I have to tell you: You're full of crap! You say you want a family, you say you want to meet "The One," but you are always chasing the wrong women.
Ted: That is not true.
Robin: Look at the women you date, starting with me: I told you right away I didn't want marriage or kids. Stella had a child with another man who she still loved. Zoey was married and trying to sabotage your career and wore a lot of stupid hats. I mean, if you really wanted a family, you would stop pursuing women you know there is no future with.
Ted: Okay, first of all, hats were in that year, kind of. Secondly, I don't always choose women there's no future with. Kind of.
Robin: Name one exception.
Ted: Victoria. Victoria was great.
Robin: Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass. [scoffs]
Ted: You mean you?
Robin: Thank you! Victoria is the only woman you've dated who could've been "The One." You should call her.
Ted: Tiny thing, last time I saw her, she was getting engaged.
Robin: That was eight months ago. For all you know, she's single again.
Ted: What if she's married?
Robin: What if she's not? Then you would actually have a chance to get what you say you want, and it terrifies you. Why? Because if I stole a scalpel and cut you open, all I would find inside is a scared, trembling pile of crap.
Ted: See, I've missed these talks.
Robin: Me too.