Ted: We are totally even.
Barney: We absolutely are not even, and here's why. I'll grant you that if you include the 12 points for designing the skyscraper, the 83 points for slapping five with Tommy Lee and the 9,000 points for banging Robin before me, our point totals would be about neck and neck, but there's one thing you're forgetting.
Ted: The fact that I don't care?
Barney: No. And you just lost five points for sass. Do you remember a conversation we had about three years ago?
[flashback:]
Ted: Barney, you're the king. Nobody picks up chicks like you. You're handsome, debonair, everything I wish I could be.
[present:]
Ted: I'm starting to think this never happened.
Barney: Let you finish.
[flashback:]
Ted: You're smooth, charismatic, "sauve."
[present:]
Ted: I think you mean "suave."
Barney: Aha. So you do remember.
[flashback:]
Ted: But there's one thing even a master ladies' man like you could never do, and if you could ever do it, it would be worth 500 points.
Barney: You have my attention, my slightly shorter friend.
Ted: Here's the challenge. Get a girl's phone number while you're wearing a dress.
Barney: Challenge...
[present:]
Barney: Accomplished. That's right. Last year, I slapped on a dress, took a few laps around this very bar, and I got this: The phone number of one Stephanie McColgan. Later that night, I took off my pantyhose, and gave her panties... my hose. That's right, Ted. I am 500 points ahead. Until you can get a girl's digits while wearing a dress, you and I will never be even.