Ted: Well, uh, I have some good news. As you all know, I recently decided to get back out there and start dating again. And, uh, well...
[flashback to Ted at a news stand near a woman who's reading the magazine with his face on the cover:]
Woman: Is this you?
Ted: Uh, yeah. Hi. I'm Ted.
Woman: Hi.
[present:]
Lily: That's great, Ted.
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, it was a moment of pure destiny. The kind you just can't manufacture. Or so I thought.
[a series of flashbacks to Ted at the news stand holding the magazine:]
Ted: Oh, no. How did I get on there? Hi. Ted Mosby.
Ted: Guilty. Hi. Ted Mosby.
Ted: That is embarrassing. I should be on the cover of Egg On My Face magazine. But I'm not. I'm on the cover of this one. Hi. Ted Mosby.
[present:]
Ted: 16 moments of pure destiny in one day, and of those 16, ten were single. Of those ten, seven liked what they saw. Of those seven, four were women. Of those four, two gave me their real number. And I have a date with both of them.