Barney: I am so angry at my dad! Guess who called me today. Go on, guess.
Marshall: Your dad?
Barney: My dad!
[flashback to Barney chatting with a woman at MacLaren's:]
Barney: [answers phone] Barney Stinson.
Jerry: Hi, Barney. It's your dad. Look, would you like to go fishing with me and J.J. on Sunday morning?
Barney: Ooh, hold on. Let me check my personality. Oh, no. Turns out I would never do that in a million years.
Jerry: Barney, look, I know you're disappointed that your dad is just a boring old driving instructor from the suburbs, but that guy I used to be, "Crazy Jerry", he was bad news. Drinking, partying, sleeping around. The party can't go on forever. You're 35. I'm sure you're starting to realize that, right?
Barney: You do not know how right you are.
[present:]
Barney: Zero right! We're not getting too old for anything.
Ted: You sure? I feel like we collectively learn the opposite lesson... like, at least once a year.
Barney: I have to face an ugly truth. Jerry Whitaker, my own father is anti-awesometic. I know Crazy Jerry's still in there somewhere, but he's trapped under 20 years of lawn mower parties and carpool barbecues.
Robin: Wow, you know nothing about the suburbs.
Barney: Well, this Saturday night, I am busting him out. I'm gonna make Jerry realize he was wrong about giving up his old life by showing him the awesomest night of all time. And for the awesomest night of all time... I'm going to need the awesomest friends of all time. ... Okay, who do I know? Guys. Do any of you know George Clooney?