Ted: I know what you're thinkin'. "I wish I was a dude."
Robin: I do wish you were a dude.
Ted: Because if I was a dude, I could have Ted Mosby as my best man.
Robin: No. And here's why. Ted, the best man's job is not to crush the floral arrangements. It's to get the groom down the aisle. Because no matter who he is, he will freak out. And I just don't think you have what it takes to get that soldier to pick up his rifle and charge up the hill.
Ted: Uh, are you forgetting? I've done this before. I was Marshall's best man.
Robin: And how did that go again?
[flashback to Marshall shaving his head right before his wedding]
Robin: 0 for 1.
Ted: Oh, come on. That wasn't my fault. And need I remind you, I gave a beautiful toast.
Robin: Ted.
[replay of Marshall shaving his head]
Robin: O, do you take One to be your lawfully wedded wife? Oh, God, I'm freakin' out. Why did I choose Ted to be my best man?