Quote from Future Ted in The Mermaid Theory
Lily: Seriously? I step away for five seconds, and you eat all my onion rings? No surprise there. Barney: What's that supposed to mean? Are you calling me fat? [Lily shrugs] Barney: If there is one thing you never do, it is call a woman fat right to her face! Future Ted: [v.o.] Wait. Barney's not a woman. That's right. Barney wasn't hurt by Lily, Lily was hurt by Barney. [flashback to the gang in the apartment:] Lily: Want to hang? Barney: Nah. Lily: [gasps] [flashback to Lily and Barney in the street:] Barney: Watch out! Lily: Wow. Thanks, Barney. You saved me. [signals to ice cream] You saved us. [present:] Lily: If there's one thing you never do, it's call a woman fat right to her face! Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, now I'm on track. The rest of this story should make perfect sense. Barney: Oh, Lily, I'm sorry. Hey, you want to see a magic trick? [Barney makes a bottle of beer levitate above Lily's stomach] Lily: You're a jerk. Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, that makes no sense. Kids, I'm officially admitting defeat. I will never remember this story. I'm sorry for wasting your time.