Ted: Well, let him down easy. People are fragile. Sometimes without even meaning to, you might rip someone's beating heart out and stomp on it in a roomful of 26 people and a teacher's assistant.
Lily: How did school go today, Ted?
Ted: Something bad happened. It was the first class of the new semester.
[flashback to Ted's class:]
Ted: Jamie Adamic? Hi. Brian Glowatz, Glowatz? Hi. Well done. Adding a fake name to the sign-up sheet. That's real original, guys. You know, I'd expect inspired minds such as yours to be a little more mature and, frankly, more creative. I mean, seriously, what kind of a fake name is Cook Pu?
Cook Pu: Here.
Ted: Come on, guys. It's gotta at least sound real. Cook Pu?
Cook Pu: Here.
Ted: Whatever happened to classics, right. You know, Seymour Butts? Hugh Gerection? Those were fake names. But Cook Pu?
Cook Pu: [crying] Here.
Ted: Cook Pu!
Jamie: She's back here, bro.