Robin: "Defusing the bomb"? What does that even mean?
Lily: "Three Topics To Distract Robin From Being Mad At You."
Robin: Distract me? Oh, that is so condescending. These guys are really starting to piss me off!
Lily: "Immediately switch the conversation to one of the following, unless you want Robin to start throwing her shoes."
[flashback to Ted's classroom:]
Ted: One. "Vancouver Canucks 2004 Division Title."
[back:]
Robin: What?! That's not distracting. That's just talking about the story of a scrappy little underdog team that prevailed despite very shaky goal ending and, frankly, the declining skills of Trevor Linden.
[flashback to Ted's classroom:]
Ted: Two. "Proper Gun Cleaning and Maintenance."
[back:]
Robin: You have to clean your gun. My uncle had a filthy old shotgun, blew both his thumbs off trying to shoot a beaver. You want to distract someone, make them watch my uncle try to eat corn on the cob.
[flashback to Ted's classroom:]
Ted: Three. "Emperor Penguins."
[back:]
Robin: Did you know that before intercourse, the male and female emperor penguins bow to each other? Mr. Penguin. [bows] Mrs. Penguin. [bows] Oh, God, silly penguins, acting all fancy. [laughs] What were we talking about?