Barney: Okay, you can do this. You can do this! [checks rear mirror and sees a female officer] Oh, you can do this.
Police Officer: License and regis...
Barney: License and registration.
Police Officer: Excuse me?
Barney: I can only assume you need a license to have a face that beautiful. And that body? I'm guessing something that explosive has to be registered with the proper authorities.
Police Officer: Get out of the car.
Barney: Why, am I under arrest?
Police Officer: No. [removes helmet, unzips her top] But you're about to be under me.
[cut to the gang at MacLaren's:]
Robin: No. False. Did not happen.
Marshall: That's a line from a porno. I've seen that porno. Hell, I've made that porno.
Barney: When will you realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is my real life has better lighting?
Robin: You're lying.
Barney: I am not lying! I swear on my mother. I swear on Goliath National Bank. I swear on my suits. I... am... not... lying.
Future Ted: [v.o.] He was lying.