Future Ted: [v.o.] The next day, Uncle Barney finally confronted Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Richmond Middle School.
Matthew Panning: So, Barney, great to hear from you after all this time. What's been going on?
Barney: I've had sex with 200 women.
Matthew Panning: Oh, God! That's way too many. I mean, that's just gross. Have you sought counseling
for sex addiction? Because you're a prime candidate.
Barney: Uh, have you sought counseling for I win you lose? Yeah, suddenly those 100 girls you nailed in the seventh grade aren't so impressive.
Matthew Panning: 100 girls? Is that what this is about? Barney, I lied.
Barney: Sure you did.
Matthew Panning: Barney, I was 12... of course I was lying. I didn't have a pet Ewok either.
Barney: Sure you didn't.
Matthew Panning: Your whole adult life has been built around... something I lied about when I was 12?
Barney: Jealous?
Matthew Panning: Look, I gotta go pick my kids up at school. It sounds like you got a lot of problems. Good luck, I guess.
Barney: [to himself] I'm awesome. Okay, 200. [rips up his list] Now what? [he sees Robin at the bar]