Barney: By the way, what are you guys doing with Ted's room? 'Cause if you need help with the rent, I'll take it.
Lily: Why would you want to live with us?
Barney: I don't call what you guys do "living." Here's the deal, I need a room closer to the bar. It takes me exactly 23 minutes to get a girl from the bar back to my apartment. A lot can go wrong in 23 minutes.
[flashback to Barney in a cab with a woman:]
Woman: This is going to be so hot. [falls alseep]
Barney: [to cab driver] She's paying.
[flashback to Barney with another woman in a cab:]
Woman #2: I swear, if he doesn't call me back, I'm going to go through with this.
Barney: [to cab driver] Please hurry, sir.
Woman #2: I want to do dirty stuff with you. Stuff I won't let him do.
Barney: Every red light run is an extra $20.
Woman #2: [answers phone] Baby? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It was all my fault.
[flashback to Barney with a third woman in a cab:]
Woman #3: I am so drunk. When I'm this drunk, I go crazy!
Barney: I bet you do.
Woman #3: Check this out. [flashes herself to other vehicles] What up, NYPD?
Barney: So close.