Mr. Druthers: Guys, you have no idea how much this means to me right now.
Ted: Wait, his birthday was yesterday!
Man: Yeah, but a bunch of us were up at the conference in Montreal, so we thought...
Ted: No! No birthday! No! I got something to say and I'm gonna get it out. Hammond, listen to me. I am sorry that your dog died, and that your wife is divorcing you and that... your life is falling apart and that these guys missed your birthday. And there is no easy way to say... What are you doing? What's going on?
Mr. Druthers: Oh, God... [clutches chest]
Ted: Oh, come on, you're not going to pull that, are you? Oh! Look, yeah, right. Now we're falling onto the ground. Well, nice try, but guess what? You're fired! You're fired, you get it? You hear me? You're gone! You're fired!
[later, Mr. Druthers is wheeled out on a stretcher with an oxygen mask on his face as his colleagues applaud him]
Ted: In my defense, I think we all suspected Hammond might have been faking. On the plus side, the EMTs seem to think he's going to be just fine and, as you saw, they did admit that I did not cause the heart attack, even if they said it a bit begrudgingly.