Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids you know that photo in the den? It was taken back in 2006, when Grandma and Grandpa came to visit me and we all went out to brunch. We all look pretty happy, right? Wrong.
Lily: I wish your face would melt off.
Marshall: I wish your eyeballs would explode.
Lily: I hate you.
Marshall: I hate you more.
Ted: I'm going to kill him.
Barney: I can't say I blame you.
Ted: No, I mean I'm seriously going to kill him.
Robin: I don't care how unpleasant it is. You have to talk to him.
Virginia Mosby: Not now.
Robin: Okay, if you don't, I will.
Virginia Mosby: Robin...! [Virginia raises her arm and knocks plates out of a waitress's hand]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, for any of this to make sense, you got to understand, there are three parts to this story. Let's start with the Marshall and Lily part.