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Cleaning House

‘Cleaning House’

Season 6, Episode 2 -  Aired September 27, 2010

When the gang help Barney and James clear out their mother's house ahead of a move, they learn that Loretta shielded them from the truth throughout their childhood. Meanwhile, Robin sets Ted up on a date.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: I suppose you have a problem with the Easter Bunny too.
Lily: Not now.

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Quote from Lily

Barney: So we're doing this? We're really gonna go disturb the peaceful Long Island retirement of the former mayor of Yourson, North Dakota, on a Sunday afternoon. Real classy, James. Real classy.
James: You're just too scared to face the truth. You are living in a dream world.
Marshall: Maybe we shouldn't have brought these sloppy joes.
Lily: Hey, what's done is done.

Quote from Robin

Ted: I just wanna hit that perfect middle ground.
Robin: How about we just go wildly to both extremes and just let them balance each other out? "Ted Mosby is really handsome, but extremely violent... and really rich, but lacks bladder control."
[The van swerves]
Robin: Oh, damn.
Ted: What?
Robin: That last bump just made me hit "send."
Ted: No, no.
Robin: Don't worry. I'm sure that everyone will get it's a joke.
Ted: No, they won't. They're gonna think... Wait. "Everyone"?

Quote from Barney

Barney: Wait, wait. Please stop. Just give me a second. Okay?
James: I thought you said that he wa...
Barney: Stop. Come on. I know Bob Barker's not really, you know... I'm not crazy. I just... I needed that. I know it may sound stupid, but I didn't always feel so great about myself growing up and so having a celebrity dad made me feel special. But you're right, James. It's time to let go of the fantasies. It's time to grow up.

Quote from James

James: That is my younger brother, Barney. He just thought he'd meet his real dad today, and clearly he's not taking it so well.
Sam: Well, my head's kind of spinning too. I mean, Loretta and I only saw each other for a couple of months. You were two before I even knew you existed. And at that point, your mother made it very clear she was gonna raise you on her own. I felt I had to respect her wishes. But I always wanted to meet you.

Quote from Marshall

Lily: Don't worry. We'II, uh... We'll snap Barney out of this when he gets back.
Marshall: Or, uh, we could just let him have this one.
Lily: Are you kidding?
Marshall: Guys, Barney's losing his childhood home. He finally admitted Bob Barker's not his dad. And then he watched James meet his real father. It's just a lot to go through in one afternoon. Can't we just let the guy
be black for a day?

Quote from Ted

Barney: Here, Ted! Capture the moment!
Ted: I think you'd need Salvador Dali to capture this particular moment, but I'll give it a whirl.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Hey, look at that. Liz still wants to meet you.
Ted: That's great! I guess. Wait a minute. You said Liz was a total 10. Why would she wanna meet the incontinent freak show you described?
Robin: Um...
Ted: You oversold her.
Robin: Maybe a little.
Ted: You said she was a 10.
Robin: I did not specify on what scale.
Ted: You said she looked like a movie star.
Robin: She does. It's Robert De Niro. But like super buff, like in Cape Fear.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Dad, look how fast I can run.
James: He's actually a really sweet guy and he's great with my son.
Sam: I have a grandson?
James: Uh... His name is Eli.
Sam: He's beautiful.
Barney: Dad, you're not looking.

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