Robin: I can't believe Ted's getting back together with Zoey.
Barney: I know, they're a total train wreck.
Robin: Unmitigated disaster.
Ranjit: Worst couple ever.

Robin: Wait a minute. On their first date, he brought her an orchid. How much do you want to bet he's gonna do it again?
Barney: Brilliant. But wait, he had a huge head start on us. No way he's still in there unless he spent an hour choosing an orchid.
Ted: [emerging from the florist] Thanks, Julia! [turns back] You know what? Let me see the pink lady slipper again.

Barney: You can't get back with Zoey over a lightbulb.
Ted: I'm not freaking out over a lightbulb! I'm freaking out over 50,000 lightbulbs! I can't do this! I only got this job because you gave it to me, Barney. I didn't earn it!
Robin: The future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting.
Barney: But... It's a mistake.
Ted: You're right.

Rod: Okay, hot shot. Mr. Stinson. Who's gonna do the honors?
Barney: He is.
Ted: You sure?
Barney: Yeah, you earned it.
Rod: All clear!
Ted: Hey, new is always better, right?
Barney: Always.
Rod: Ten, nine, eight...

Marshall: Lily, it's a miracle. I didn't get sick. I didn't get sick.
Lily: I know, baby. I'm pregnant.

Barney: Nora, how you been?
Nora: Fine.
Barney: Look, I don't know why you would possibly say yes to this, but, would you want to grab a cup of coffee with me sometime? 20 minutes. I was such a jerk to you. You can spend the entire time calling me every dirty name in the book.
Nora: I speak four languages. I'm gonna need more than 20 minutes.
Barney: I'll call you. You look beautiful, by the way. And here I thought it was too late for sundresses.
Nora: It's never too late, Barney.
Barney: Challenge accepted.