Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Canning Randy’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

How I Met Your Mother: Canning Randy

607. Canning Randy

Aired November 1, 2010

Zoey continues her protest about Ted's building proposal by enrolling in his college class. Meanwhile, Marshall struggles to fire an incompetent subordinate.

Quote from Lily

Lily: Robin, who'd you sleep with?
Robin: I told you, Randy. He was a machine.
Lily: Where's the poop, Robin?

Rate

Quote from Ted

Ted: And so, due to one architectural oversight, the Toledo Bridge Disaster of 1906 claimed the lives of 75 people. [dressed as a hotdog] Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll, but happy Halloween, ya crazies!
Scotty: Professor Brosby, you gonna come get beers with us later?
Ted: Nah, I got a thing. But you kids have fun trick or treating.
Betty: This is our treat. You're the coolest, Professor Mosby.
Ted: Well, hot dog.
[later, at a Halloween party:]
Lily: Did it hurt?
Ted: What?
Lily: Getting that kid's nose surgically removed from your ass.
Ted: It's not her nose that's in my ass, Lily, it's her heart. My class loves me. I'm really making an impression on those guys.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Man, I love the office Halloween party. It is so much sluttier than the office Christmas party. Though not as freaky as the office President's Day Rave. Or the office Tu B'Shvat Pajama Jammy-Jam.

Quote from Lily

Lily: [on the phone] You just have to learn to embrace their hatred. Because behind that hatred lies fear. And you can use use that fear, like I did with Johnny Marley.
Ted: Was there more to that story?
Lily: A little bit.
[flashback to Johnny Marley waking up from nap time with the stuffed horse's head in his sleeping bag]
Ted: Lily, you're a psychopath.
Lily: A little bit. [to a kid giving Lily her drawing] Aw, a panda!

Quote from Barney

Randy: Hey, Boss.
Marshall: Hey, Randy. You want a beer?
Randy: No, thank you. I brew my own. At the risk of bragging, my Hazelnut Pilsner won fourth prize at the Weehawken Retirement Home Clam Bake and Wheelchair Maintenance Picnic.
Barney: I wouldn't consider any part of that bragging.

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] Oh, we were big fans of New York's annual Halloween parade. I don't mean the one that takes place Halloween night in the Village. I mean the one that takes place the morning of November 1st... the Annual Post Halloween Walk of Shame Parade.
Marshall: Look at them heading home after their dirty, filthy hookups.
Barney: Looks like that bee got busy.
Ted: Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed.
Marshall: Looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.
Ted: Come on, Marshall.
Barney: There's a line.

Quote from Barney

Barney: There she is, Florence "Night in Bed with a Stranger".

Quote from Barney

Lily: So, who's the lucky patient?
Robin: I don't want to talk about it.
Ted: Please tell me you're not hooking up with one of your co-anchors again.
Robin: My co-anchor's a woman.
Barney: Please tell me you are hooking up with one of your co-anchors again.

Quote from Robin

Future Ted: [v.o.] Robin had always believed the key to success was intelligence, hard work and professionalism. Her new co-anchor, Becky, had a different philosophy.
[TV commercial:]
Becky: Boats, boats, boats!
Announcer: It's the Farhampton Boat Show!
Becky: Boats, boats, boats!
Announcer: November 5th, 6th and 7th at the Farhampton Civic Center.
Becky: Boats, boats, boats!
Announcer: Come on down.
Becky: Boats, boats, boats!

Quote from Ted

Ted: Oh, Robin, you gotta not worry so much about being liked.
Robin: Oh, easy for you to say. Everybody loves you at your job.
Future Ted: [v.o.] That was true of my teaching job. But I was also designing the new headquarters for GNB, and well...
Zoey: [over bullhorn] Ted Moseby, we don't like you! [talking] What do you say to yourself, tearing down a beautiful, old building to put up a stupid bank headquarters?
Ted: Boo... freakin'... hoo.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode