Ted: No. Absolutely not. Come on. Give her a chance.
Robin: Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey. Don't let that be in vain.

Marshall: Guys? Wait a minute. Where's Barney?
[meanwhile, in another cab:]
Barney: And here's the twist, Babaka. Because Ted left early, he's now The Blitz!
Babaka: But Barney, now you left the group. Wouldn't that put you in danger of becoming The Blitz yourself?
Barney: No. I c... Because... Step on it.

Ted: Okay, the Turturkeykey is officially cooking.
Marshall: Oh, God, that is disgusting!
Ted: Okay, guys, that's starting to hurt.
Marshall: No... no, Ted. Random number guy just sent me his wang back.
Robin: Wow. You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back.
Lily: It's a boom-a-wang.
Robin: Nice.
Lily: Thank you.
Robin: No, I meant the wang.

Zoey: Barney, could you get me some more ice?
Barney: Sure. But... no one move while I'm gone. I'm scared.
The Blitz: You're safe. It's okay to leave the room. You have to actually leave the building for something cool to happen.
Barney: Thanks. You're the only one who's nice to me about this.
[after Barney leaves, the Blitz flips a coin and it lands on its side:]
The Blitz: Okay, I got to test this.
Barney: [returning] What happened?
Lily: You missed it!
Marshall: Dude, you walked out of the room, the laws of physics stopped and the laws of awesome tripled.
Barney: Aw, man! You said I could leave the room!
The Blitz: I just wanted to see something cool happen. I'm sorry. But I was on that island for what seems like eternity. I'm going to enjoy things on the other side.

Barney: Robin, Robin. I will pay you to be The Blitz. $100! No, $10,000. No, 60 bucks. That's a lot of money for someone like you.

Marshall: Dude, The Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold.
Zoey: Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity.
Ted: Oh, what was that? I was distracted by the four-caret diamond your 53-year-old husband bought you.
The Blitz: Facial!

Ted: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a turturkeykey to baste.
Zoey: I'm coming with you.
Zoey: No... I baste alone.
Ted: Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted.
The Blitz: Word play. Loving it.
Zoey: But relax. I've got a ton of sides to heat up since my plans fell through.
Ted: Who canceled? Your coven?
The Blitz: Coven. Group of witches. Boom.
Zoey: Yeah. They were worn out from putting that spell on your hair.

Ted: No, no, no. You guys can't be objective. You still feel guilty about last night.
Robin: Well, let's get an outside opinion.
Ted: Who are we gonna--
Robin: [texting] "Dear Wang Guy, can enemies ever be friends? Just wondering."
Ted: Really? Wang Guy? We're asking Wang Guy?
Robin: He's bold and uninhibited, so why not? And guys, you know what? For fun, why don't we ask him what he does for a living? Wouldn't that be fun? Just ask.

Marshall: [phone chimes] Oh, look. We got an answer. Here it is. "Yes, enemies can become friends. Remember what Gandhi said. 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'"
The Blitz: Uh, did Wang Guy just quote Gandhi?
Barney: That is amazing. And I was here for it. Now Zoey is The Blitz. Ha, ha! Burn on her.
The Blitz: Come on, man. Don't be that Blitz.
Barney: I'm not any Blitz! You're The Blitz! You're all The Blitz! I slept with that cute Indian girl who cuts my hair!
Robin: What does that have to do with anything?
Barney: Nothing! I just forgot to brag about it before!

Lily: God, can't you two just stop fighting for one day? Like, when the Roadrunner and the Coyote clocked out and had a beer together? Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry shared a cup of coffee.
Ted: Lily, those are cartoon characters, and I'm pretty sure you're making up episodes. And if Zoey is a cartoon character, she's Cinderella's evil stepmother!
Zoey: [gasps] Oh, get out. All of you, out!
Lily: But it's Thanksgiving.
The Blitz: And I'm a part of it.
Zoey: Out!