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Bass Player Wanted

‘Bass Player Wanted’

Season 9, Episode 13 -  Aired December 16, 2013

The gang encounters a guy at the wedding who loves to stir up trouble between people. Meanwhile, Marshall gets some unexpected help as he reaches the Farhampton Inn.

Quote from Barney

Ted: Barney, wait. Wait. Your friendship is important. I swear on my mother's... No, I swear to God. No, I swear to Hef.
Barney: [gasps] Oh! Don't take that name in vain. If someone is important to you, you tell them you're moving. I'm just some guy you used to know back in New York.


Quote from Ted

Barney: That's a $600 bottle. Ted, that's grand larceny. You really could go to jail for this.
Ted: That's the dream.

Quote from Ted

Barney: So you're moving to Chicago.
Ted: I'm moving to Chicago.
Barney: Why? I know Marshall and Lily might leave, but it's only a year. In the meantime, we'll still see each other all the time. You, me, Robin... Oh.
Ted: I need a new start.
Barney: I'm gonna miss you.
Ted: I'm gonna miss you so much.

Quote from The Mother

The Mother: Thank you, Linus. There are real villains in this world, but they don't always get real justice, do they? You wanna believe karma's gonna get them.
[out on the balcony:]
Ted: All right, who wants a drink? I'm stealing.
The Mother: But... karma doesn't always come through.
[out on the balcony:]
Darren: I love how strong your marriage is. You don't need to lose weight, no matter what he told me. Catch you on the flip-flop, muchachos. [crashes into Ted, who drops the scotch bottle] Sorry, mi amigos.
The Mother: I guess you have to accept that sometimes in life... just don't get that knockout punch.
[Ted punches Darren]
Darren: Hey, can I get some ice? The best man just punched me in the face for no reason. Oh, what, that's funny to you? You know what? I quit. You can have your stupid band back. I miss being in a band where people are decent to each other and there's no drama. I'm going back to the new Guns N' Roses.
The Mother: Linus, whoever that best man is, I would like to buy him a double of your finest Scotch.

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