Barney: I'm really sorry about you and Robin. I know I was always joking around about wanting you two to break up, but you were really good together.
Ted: Yeah, we were. She just wasn't the one, you know?
Barney: The one. Oh, Ted, no. Do not tell me you're going to start searching for "the one" again. The only time I want to hear you saying "the one" is if it's followed by the word "hundredth." What up?
Ted: No, I need a break from all that, I... I just want to get out there and have fun for a while, you know?
Barney: Really? 'Cause... you know, you've been in a relationship for a year. You're going to... be a little rusty.
Ted: Yeah.
Barney: I'm just saying... you're gonna need, need, need some help out there.
Ted: Could be.
Barney: Ted?
Ted: Yes, Barney.
Barney: Do you think... Do you think maybe you might need a wingman again?
Ted: I do.
Barney: Yes! Yes! We're back. We are back. And Ted, my boy, it's going to be legend... Wait for it...

Barney: Did you hear that, Ted? Dana works security at the Liberty Bell.
Dana: I do okay.
Barney: Wow, it must be really well cornered off over there. You ever go behind the rope and touch it?
Dana: Only all the time.
Barney: Ever, like, stick your head inside it?
Dana: Yeah.
Barney: Did you ever lick it?
Dana: Nope, I have never licked it.
Barney: Hmm... I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell! If someone were to pull that off I dare say it would be... what's the word?
Ted: Well, this is my stop.
Barney: Legendary, Ted. Legendary!

Barney: Okay, time for my stuff. Guys, I was sitting at home last night, and all of a sudden, I had a piphany. And my piphany was this...
Ted: Actually, it's, uh, it's "epiphany."
Barney: No, Ted, this is the piphany. And here it is: Make... every... night... legendary. Guys, we've had some pretty legendary nights. But we've also had some nights that weren't so legendary. Lookin' at you, "The Night Ted
Made Us All Watch Norbit".
Ted: Eddie Murphy as a fat lady. What's the problem?
Lily: That was Eddie Murphy?
Barney: The non-legendary nights are done. From here on in, every single night of our lives will be a night we'll never forget. Starting tonight. Who's ready for the longest, craziest adventure yet?! [Lily and Marshall bounce] Good. The weak have been weeded from our herd. You ready to rock and roll, Ted?
Ted: Yeah, I'm going home, too. I'm sensing some costumes coming up here and I'd rather steer clear.
Barney: Ted, 20 years from now, when you're all alone and I'm President, you're not gonna remember sitting around your apartment doing nothing. What you will remember is that tonight, this night... was The Night We Started a Mariachi Band! Uno, dos, tres, quatro!

Barney: Which is why nothing, not even God himself- Yeah, I said it, Beardy - is going to stand in the way of tonight being legend... Wait for it. [sneezes] Uh-oh.

Barney: You watch, Ted. Tonight is going to be legen- it's the night we stole a camel... which means it'll be
full of drama - dary. Dromedary!
Ted: I applaud your wordplay, but your core premise is flawed. Every night can't be legendary. If all nights are legendary, no nights are legendary.
Barney: See, Ted, that attitude right there, that's why I'm in the lead.
Ted: What do you mean, in the lead?
Barney: I'm talking about the game of life, Ted. Scoreboard. Better wardrobe. 75 points. Apartment on a higher floor. 90 points. Longer name. 110 points.
Ted: Sorry. Did you just make up this point system?
Barney: Made up the point system. 114 points. And ten points to you for pointing that out. Nice job, Ted. 15 points to me for being gracious enough to give you those ten points. But here's the point, Ted. Every time I go out and have an awesome night and you're not there, that's another 100 points in my column. So yeah, I'm in the lead.
Ted: Barney, the fact that I can stay home for a night shows that I have inner peace and that I don't feel the need to keep score. That's worth like 1,000 points right there, so at the very least, we're tied.
Barney: We're so not tied. Although you know what is tied: the strap of my girlfriend's bikini. Except when it's not,
'cause she's a stripper. One million points! Game. Shh. It's over. It's done. It's done.

Barney: Model. Model.
Woman #1: Hi.
Barney: I know, right? This party is legend- Wait for it... [long silence]
Woman #2: Uh, how long do we have to wait for it?
Woman #1: I think he's having a stroke.

Barney: That was us. We made that happen. We're pretty cool.
Robin: And, you know, a week from today, we are going to be legend... wait for it...
Barney: Married.
Both: Legend-married.
Barney: Robin Scherbatsky, I love you so damn much.
Robin: I love you, too, Barney Scherbatsky. That sounds good. Think about it.