‘Bagpipes’
Season 5, Episode 6 - Aired November 2, 2009
Barney and Robin seem to have everything worked out, so Marshall takes relationship advice from Barney. Meanwhile, Ted and Robin are plagued by upstairs neighbors who won't stop "playing bagpipes".
Quote from Barney
Barney: And it didn't end there. We've been fighting ever since.
Robin: All those fights we kept not having, they all came back around. The bag of panties.
Barney: The tie Robin murdered.
Robin: The tiny camera I found in the headboard.
Barney: That's how a quarterback stays sharp. Monday morning, he sits on a bag of ice and studies the game tape.
Quote from Ted
Ted: I knew you were lying. You got to wake up pretty early to slip one by the T-Mose.
Robin: Stop it.
Quote from Lily
Lily: [o.s.] Marshall, dinner's ready.
Marshall: Did you... Did you make any for me?
Lily: [o.s.] No, but it's your favorite.
Quote from Lily
Future Ted: [v.o.] So Barney and Robin told Lily and Marshall all about their fighting. And let's just say, that in comparison, their little dishes spat seemed pretty tame. [montage of Barney and Robin fighting] And by the end, Lily and Marshall both had the same reaction.
Marshall: I'll wash my dishes right away from now until the day I die.
Lily: I don't care when you wash the dishes. But if it's something cheese-based, like a nice ziti, at least soak it, okay?
Marshall: Of course, baby. I love you.
Lily: I love you, too.
Quote from Barney
Robin: See? Right there, how did you just do that? How'd you just fix everything?
Marshall: I don't know. I guess sometimes you just have to set your ego aside.
Lily: Yeah. And remember that the love that you have for that other person is way more important than winning.
[Barney and Robin laugh]
Barney: More important than winning.
Robin: Stop, stop it. Seriously, what's the secret?
Quote from Lily
Barney: So what do we do now?
Robin: I guess we got to start talking more and get into the real stuff.
Barney: Yeah. Or there's a bench in the elevator.
Robin: Ooh, that's better. Hey, so what if we're not the best couple in the world?
Barney: Totally. It's not a competition.
Robin: No.
[back in Lily and Marshall's apartment:]
Lily: We win!
Marshall: Best couple in the world!
Lily: Whoo! Yeah!
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Guess what? These glasses are plastic. So we can just throw them away. That means no dirty dishes in the sink.
Lily: You're dirty. Maybe I should leave you in the sink.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And once that first argument got worked out, all those other arguments, well, they got better, too. [multiple versions of Marshall and Lily make out across the apartment]
[In the apartment below Marshall and Lily's, the chandelier shakes. The elderly couple hear bagpipes]