Wilson Wilson Quotes Page 3 of 41
Quote from Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher
Tim: If a boulder fell on you, would you ask me for help?
Wilson: Well, that depends. Are you the reason the boulder fell on me?
Tim: That doesn't matter.
Wilson: Well, it does to me. I'm the one under the boulder.
Tim: All right, let's say it's my fault. Wouldn't you be too proud to ask for my help?
Wilson: Why would I be too proud?
Tim: 'Cause you're... 'cause you're a man.
Wilson: Well, I guess that would depend on what part of me was crushed by the boulder.Tim, are you speaking metaphorically?
Tim: No, I'm just making a comparison.
Quote from The Route of All Evil
Tim: I was so excited about him having that job, I just kept pushing him and pushing him. I just want my kids to be great.
Wilson: Tim, it's not unusual for a father to want his son to succeed. You know, I'm reminded of what Wally Schirra the astronaut said: "You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. If you treat them as sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes."
Tim: I did push him way too hard. But it wasn't on purpose.
Wilson: I know it wasn't.
Tim: Thanks for lending me your ear.
Wilson: Tim! [returns the spy equipment] Thanks for lending me yours.
Quote from Talk to Me
Wilson: Hi-ho, neighbor. You know, Tim, I woke up this morning and the blues were all around my bed.
Tim: Maybe you should have tried vacuuming. Well, I got hit with a croquet ball. I got the black-and-blues.
Wilson: [plays harmonica and sings] Got out of my bed Got hit in the head Knocked out of my shoes I got those lowdown croquet-ball blues
Tim: When did you learn to play the harmonica?
Wilson: This morning.
Quote from Sisters and Brothers
Tim: Could I talk to Wilson for a minute? I got a couple of minutes before I go to work.
Jill: You'll have to wait.
Tim: I can't wait.
Jill: I'm sorry, we only have one Wilson and I'm using him.
Wilson: You know, neighbors, I am a friend. I'm not a rest room.
Jill: I'm sorry, Wilson. Tim, come on, I know you wanna talk to Wilson about me, but I was here first.
Tim: Well, hurry up. I don't know how long I can hold it.
Quote from Wilson's Girlfriend
Judith: Jill has told me so much about you. It's all been great.
Wilson: Well, I am flattered.
Judith: The only thing she didn't tell me is your last name.
Wilson: It's Wilson.
Judith: Oh, I thought that was your first name.
Wilson: Wilson is my first name.
Tim: Well, it's not that unusual. I'm actually Tim Tim. This is Jill Jill. [Jill nudges Tim] Sorry sorry.
Quote from The Look
Wilson: So what was your counteroffer?
Tim: I don't think that applies here.
Wilson: Because you didn't make one.
Tim: No, I did not.
Wilson: You know, Tim, I'm reminded of an old philosopher who once said: "You have to give a little, take a little..."
Tim: "Let your poor heart break a little."
Both: [sing] That's the story of That's the glory of love.
Quote from Doctor in the House
Wilson: Well, what can I say here that might put this into perspective for both of us? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. The late senator Dwight Morrow said there are people who do things and people who take the credit. And the trick is to be in the first group, there's a lot less competition.
Jill: I see what you're sayin'.
Wilson: Does that make you feel any better?
Jill: Not at all.
Wilson: Me, neither. On the other hand, it is a great honor for Tim, and I guess we have to put our negative feelings aside and just find a way to cheer him on.
Jill: Well, I know. I mean, he should be allowed to enjoy this. I should be more supportive.
Wilson: And if the university is giving him a Ph.D., they must feel he is a worthy recipient.
[Tim bounces on a Pogo stick in the living room]
Jill: Obviously they know something we don't.
Quote from Oh, Brother
Wilson: See, Romulus and Remus were very close until they decided to work together to build a city.
Tim: Yeah? What happened?
Wilson: Well, Romulus was the boss and he wanted things done his way. And Remus disagreed with him and that angered Romulus. So instead of working things out, you know what he did?
Tim: I'd fire him!
Wilson: No, he killed him.
Tim: Oh, boy! Oh, boy. Well, I guess when you're raised by a wolf, you lack certain social skills.
Wilson: No, Tim. The point is if Romulus hadn't been so rash, and tried to meet his brother halfway, they might've been able to patch things up.
Tim: Oh, I see. I should try to meet Marty halfway.
Wilson: There you go.
Quote from Fear of Flying
Wilson: Well, Jill, as an experienced pilot, I can assure you that learning with a licensed instructor is quite safe.
Jill: I didn't know you were a pilot.
Wilson: Oh, yes, indeedy. I've logged over a 1,000 hours since I flew spy planes during the war.
Jill: You were a spy?
Wilson: Mm-hmm.
Jill: Which war?
Wilson: I'm not at liberty to say.
Quote from The Bud Bowl
Tim: Hey, Wilson. Am I losing my mind? Or do I hear crickets in the middle of winter?
Wilson: Well, you certainly do, neighbor. I brought my pet crickets out to serenade me.
Tim: Wilson, have you ever had a normal pet?
Wilson: Well, I had a marmoset once. But my ocelot ate it.
Tim: You're one odd duck, Wilson.
Wilson: I had one of those. Ocelot got it, too.