Wilson Wilson Quotes   Page 2 of 40    

Quote from Clash of the Taylors

Tim: Randy wrote an article in there exposing Binford's poor environmental record. I'm real angry about it.
Wilson: Well, Tim, why are you angry? Because Randy wrote the article or because of Binford's poor record?
Tim: Both. Not to mention the fact that he called me a sell-out. The information caused a riot on Tool Time. I don't know what to believe.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know, I'm reminded of something the Polish linguist Alfred Korzybski once said.
Tim: "Why can't my name be Johnson?"
Wilson: Korzybski said, "There are two ways to slide easily through life: To believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save you from thinking."


Quote from The Old College Try

Tim: We sound like a bunch of geezers.
Harry: Well, there's a very good reason for that.
All: We are.
Wilson: You know, I'm reminded of the English novelist Anthony Powell who said, "Getting old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you never committed."

Quote from Tool-Thousand-One: A Space Odyssey

Wilson: So you're torn between embarking on the most exciting voyage of your life or staying home and taking care of someone you love.
Tim: That's the question.
Wilson: Well, you might heed the words of Thornton Wilder.
Tim: What did he say?
Wilson: Thornton Wilder said, "When one is at home, he dreams of adventure. And when one is on an adventure, he dreams of home."
Tim: That doesn't answer any questions.
Wilson: No, but it does restate it in a very interesting way. I'm sorry, Tim.

Quote from For Whom the Belch Tolls

Wilson: Well, it sounds like he's spending all his time looking backwards and you're spending yours looking forward.
Tim: That's it. I can't keep up with this guy. The thought of crushing a beer can on my head makes my butt quiver.
Wilson: Well, that's why I gave it up, Tim.
Tim: I don't know what to do about him.
Wilson: Well, it sounds to me like you're having a hard time saying goodbye.
Tim: Why should I say goodbye? He's been one of my best friends for 15 years.
Wilson: Well, has he, Tim? Or was he your best friend 15 years ago? You see, Tim, I believe it was St. Paul who said: "When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things."

Quote from Rites & Wrongs of Passage

Tim: I gotta be honest, Wilson. You kind of disappointed me. Yeah, usually you give me advice or point me in the right direction, or at least find some way of lifting my spirits.
Wilson: I am so sorry, neighbor. Tim, place your hands on the fence.
Tim: Like this?
Wilson: [sings] Kumbaya, good neighbor, Tim, kumbaya Kumbaya, good neighbor, Tim, kumbaya...
Tim: Wilson... Do you know "Michael Row the Boat Ashore?"
Both: Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah...

Quote from Be True to Your Tool

Wilson: You know, it was Robert Ingersoll, a 19th-century lawyer, who said: "It is a blessed thing that in every age somebody has had the courage to stand by their convictions."
Tim: A lawyer said that?!
Wilson: On the other hand, I'm reminded of a general named Pyrrhus.
Tim: That's right.
Wilson: It was a Greek general who fought the Romans. His army won the war, but he lost so many men, it might just as well have been a defeat. Today we call that a Pyrrhic victory.
Tim: What are you saying? That this might not be worth the fight?
Wilson: It wasn't for Pyrrhus. It may be for you. You see, Tim, when it's a question of integrity, there are no easy answers.
Tim: I could come back. You're right, Wilson. This is really a pickle. And I don't mean that dill.

Quote from Fifth Anniversary

Tim: Oh, and my neighbor's here up behind them. Wilson, say hi.
Wilson: Festum diem anniversarium tibi, Tim.
Tim: What?
Wilson: That means "Happy anniversary to you" in Latin. You see, Tim, the Ancient Romans...
Tim: No, no. Not now, Wilson, not now. We've got plenty of show to do here, buddy. There's a lot of ways we could celebrate our fifth anniversary. Could've gone to Indy and had some race drivers on. But Al and I decided to do something more from the heart, like the young Chinese boy that smelled his own yogurt. [Wilson shakes his head]

Quote from The Great Race II

Tim: Well, how would you like it if you were in an auction and some other neighbor behind a fence made 400 more dollars than you?
Wilson: Well, Tim, I'd be hi-de-hurt.
Tim: That's how I felt. I started doubting myself you know? I felt worthless.
Wilson: Well, Tim, it's been said that when a foot compares itself to a yard it always comes up short.
Tim: So you're saying that Vila's the yard, and I'm the foot, and he's better than me, right?
Wilson: Well, only if you perceive him as being better. OK. A philosopher once said, "If you place a small value on yourself, rest assured the world will not raise your price." [chuckles]
Tim: But if I believe in myself I could win this.
Wilson: No, no, no, Tim. If you believe in yourself you've already won.

Quote from Death Begins at Forty

Tim: You never told me you had a heart attack. What happened?
Wilson: Well, an acute thrombus occluded my myocardial artery, which was already partially obstructed by sclerotic plaque.
Tim: Come on, cut to the chase. Were you not eating right or not exercising?
Wilson: No, no, no. Even before my heart attack, I enjoyed the same lifestyle as I do now. I ate well, got plenty of rest, I exercised regularly.
Tim: What about stress?
Wilson: I didn't have any stress. You hadn't moved in yet.

Quote from Death Begins at Forty

Tim: How did you deal with it? If it happened to me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed.
Wilson: Well, for a long while there, Tim, I couldn't. I refused to take any risks. I even canceled my long-awaited trek up Mount Kilimanjaro.
Tim: Well, that was a good choice. You don't wanna climb anything starting with "kill a man."
Wilson: Actually, Tim, after a while I did go, and it was one of the highlights of my life.
Tim: Well, what made you change your mind?
Wilson: I realized how lucky I was. My heart attack didn't kill me, so why act like it did?
Tim: [grunts] Well, well, well...
Wilson: You see, Tim, the Roman rhetorician Seneca once said: "if we let things terrify us, then life is not worth living."

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