Jill: What's your father doing out there now?
Brad: He's working on Randy's project.
Randy: Hey, shut up, Brad.
Jill: Hey. Randy, why is your father working on your project?
Randy: I don't know.
Jill: Randy...
Randy: Mom, I'm not good at building things. I don't care about tools.
Jill: Well, then why did you decide to build me something?
Randy: I didn't. Dad said I had to.

Jill: Tim, let me in.
Tim: [o.s.] What's the secret grunt?
Jill: Let me in now.
Tim: Close enough.

Jill: Why are you building Randy's Mother's Day gift?
Tim: I'm not. I'm just showing him the next step.
Jill: He's not in the room, Tim.
Tim: All right, all right. He wasn't concentrating out here.
Jill: Well, maybe he's not interested in building stuff.
Tim: All my boys are interested in building stuff.
Jill: No. Randy's different. You know? He likes performing, ventriloquism, magic...
Tim: He could build this.
Jill: Tim, you're still not getting this. I want the boys to give me stuff that shows their feelings for me.
Tim: What are you gonna do with a broomstick and a pointy hat? [laughs]
Jill: I'm laughing on the inside, Tim. Now, look, I have faith in my boys... that they will pick the perfect gift on their own.

Jill: You all look like such little gentlemen. You're so clean and well-groomed.
Brad: Mom, you don't have to rub it in.

Tim: Prepare to be amazed... by the Great Randini!
Jill: Bravo!
Brad: Bravo! Bravo!
Randy: Thank you, thank you. And you all know my assistant, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
Jill: And a lovely assistant he is too. Yes.
Randy: After I lock my assistant in the trunk, he will then disappear. Oops. What's this? [removes skeleton] Oh, sorry. That's my last assistant.
Tim: Boy, I tell you, you look a foot short. Close the lid!
Randy: Brad, you wanna help me out here?
Brad: OK.
Tim: Please observe that there are no holes of any kind, except in my assistant's head. Abracadabra. [opens chest] Ta-da!
Jill: I am amazed and astonished.

Randy: Now I shall make him reappear.
Jill: Oh, what is your hurry?
Randy: Abracadabra. Don't stand near. Now my father will appear. Ta-da! [opens chest] Oops.
Mark: Hey. Where is he?
Randy: I don't know.
Jill: Well, these are all great presents, boys. Let's go to dinner. [the boys close the chest]
Mark: Bye, Dad.
Brad: I love you.
Randy: Have a nice time.
Tim: [o.s.] Open the lid! [knocks] Come on! There's something moving in here. I'm laughing on the inside, honey. I wanna laugh on the outside!