Jill: I don't get it. I just... I guess it's just because I was never emotionally attached to a car.
Wilson: Well, Jill, have you ever had any rite of passage that showed your independence?
Jill: Yeah. When I moved out of my parents' house and got my own apartment. It was so cute. I had these Doobie Brothers posters plastered all over the walls. And this waterbed that would slosh whenever I was... Did I mention the Doobie Brothers posters?
Wilson: Ah, yes, yes. Yes, you did.
Jill: So, you're saying that to Tim, this is way more than a rusted hunk of metal.
Wilson: Yes. Just think of it as your apartment, without the sloshing.

Jill: Your dad's car got crunched at the junkyard and it's all my fault. I wish there was something I could do.
Brad: We could try to find him an old Corvair frame.
Jill: That's a great idea. I could check all the junkyards, go through his old car magazines.
Brad: Yeah. You could even check the Internet.
Jill: You could help me.
Brad: Why would I help you?
Jill: Because, Brad, no matter how many goals you score, no matter how many tests you ace, you've always got time for your main mom.

Jill: Brad, do you think that your father would notice if the Corvair was a '67?
Brad: Mom, Dad would notice if the dipstick was the wrong color.

Brad: Hey, Mom, check out the Corvair Club Magazine. There's a guy selling a '66 Corvair just like Dad's.
Jill: Let me see here. Well, you know what? Maybe I should call him. He might have a lead on a frame.
Brad: Yeah. It says he's the president of the Corvair Club. If anyone's gonna know, it's gonna be him.
Jill: [on the phone] Hello. Is this Gunther Frank? Oh, sorry. [German accent] Gunther Frank? [normal voice] Uh... Gunther, I saw your car in the Corvair Club Magazine. And I was wondering... Yes, yes, it's wunderbar. It's very, very wunderbar. Yeah. No, no, I'm not looking for that car. I'm looking for that car, only a junker. You do? Oh, great! Okay. Well, where would we go to meet you? Yeah, yeah. We'll be right over there. Auf Wiedersehen to you, too, Gunther.

Al: Anyway, first up we have a 1972 Mercury Comet for only $340.
Tim: The body's actually held up pretty well, unlike some of us. Little bit of work, she's back to new. Does she deserve to die?
Al: I don't think so. So, come on, people. Pick up those phones and call 1-600-Z-CARZ-4-U. Operators are standing by.
Heidi: [answers phone] Adopt A Car.
Al: [answers phone] Adopt A Car.
Tim: Okay. Now, our second item up to sponsor is a 1963 Chevrolet Impala. It needs wheels, tires, running gear. Pretty much everything. Action figure sold separately. Sponsor this for $200 and you can turn this into a kid's first car. And he can fill it with his own memories, huh? Call now, will you? $200. Sponsor this car. I can't hear the phones ringing. Hello? All right, you call right now, lunch with the Tool Man. All right, all right. Lunch with Heidi. [phones ring]

Tim: What did you pay for this?
Jill: Nothing.
Tim: What?
Jill: I traded my Healey for it.
Tim: You traded your fully-restored Austin-Healey just so I could have this?
Jill: Yeah, I did.
Tim: You got freaking ripped off.
Jill: Why? What do you mean?
Tim: As much as I love Corvairs, a Healey's worth a lot more than this.
Jill: Oh, I like this car. The whole family fits in it. It has an electrical system that actually works.

Tim: I love this. I love this. This is the nicest thing you've ever done for me. But we've gotta take it back and get the Healey back, you know? I can't accept this.
Jill: Why not?
Tim: Well, I wanted my Corvair back. Not his.
Jill: Well, it's practically the same.
Tim: Well, it's not really about the car. It's about what it represented to me. When I bought the Corvair, all my V8 buddies thought it was, like, the biggest geek mobile. But I loved it. The reason I...
Jill: Well, your sense of self was defined by your first set of wheels.
Tim: Exactly. I mean, on the surface, Corvairs seemed like they were the geek mobile, but under the surface, they were, like, cutting edge. But I still want to take it back.

Tim: But right now let's take an imaginary trip in my old Corvair.
Jill: Ooh. Okay.
Tim: Okay. All right, shut your eyes. Tell me what your mind sees.
Jill: Oh, it's nothing I see, it's what I smell. Your Hai Karate.
Tim: Christmas gift from Aunt Barb.

Tim: Went to a drive-in movie off campus. Double feature. Omen.
Jill: Exorcist.
Tim: Oh, yeah! [groans and spins head] Your mother shops at Penney's! You were so freaked out.
Jill: Me? You were the one that had your head buried in my chest all night.
Tim: That wasn't 'cause I was freaked out.
Jill: I knew that. You did the same thing when we saw The Sound of Music.
Tim: The hills were alive.
Jill: I don't know about alive. But they were a lot higher then.

Jill: Didn't we go to that Doobie Brothers concert in this car?
Tim: Yes.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: And then we went back to your place and...
Jill: Sloshed.