Tim: What we're doing is something unusual. This is five-time award-winning hot rod, "The Road Rat." We're gonna reupholster.
Sparky: Beauty.
Al: All right, Sparky, what color seat would go well with this car?
Sparky: Well, wrong question here, Al. What we want to ask ourselves - is how we coordinate all of the color.
Tim: Right, you gotta think tones and tints, compromising, contrasting, complementary colors. You gotta think that way, Al.
Al: All right. What color seat would go with this purple car?
Sparky: Ooh, no, see, that's not a purple car, Al. This is fuchsia. Now, cream matches up very well with fuchsia, wouldn't you say, Tim?
Tim: Eh... How about a soft taupe? It would make the bills pop right out of the dashboard.
Sparky: Taupe, taupe, taupe. Yes. Very subtle, very simple. Yes.

Al: Well, what about black?
Tim & Sparky: [both] Boring!
Tim: Unless it's a satin black.
Sparky: Oh, satin black. All right. If he was thinking that. Or matte. But you know the color I really want to deal with with this car?
Tim: I think I know where you're going.
Sparky: Remember, we were at the Vegas show... The hottest color at the Vegas show?
Tim & Sparky: [both] Periwinkle!
Al: We'll be back after words from Binford: tools for men who talk like men.

Tim: Well, see, I ran out of gas about two miles back, and I'm going to need some gas and maybe a little gas can.
Ned: Well, we like to take good care of our customers. [hands Tim a can]
Tim: Thanks. I'll be right back.
Ned: There's a $150 deposit.
Tim: $150 deposit?
Ned: We can't have people running off with our gas cans.
Tim: Is that a big problem, Ned?
Ned: No. Who'd give up $150 for a gas can?
Tim: [laughs] Uh... Do you take a credit card, Ned?
Ned: No. But we've been thinking about it.

Al: [answers phone] Hello?
Tim: Hey, Al. Heidi went into labor.
Al: She joined a union?
Tim: No. She's having her baby.

Jill: Do quick inhales, steady exhale. Just like they taught you in Lamaze.
Heidi: Yeah, they didn't say it would hurt this much.
Jill: Oh, they never do. Otherwise, nobody would ever have children.

Tim: [on the phone] I got a shoulder!
Wilson: They've got a shoulder.
Al: Is it a boy or a girl?
Wilson: Usually you can't tell by the shoulders.

Jill: Don't worry, honey. Everything is fine. We have everything...
Tim & Jill: [both] ...under control.
Jill: [to Tim] What do we do?
Tim: You had three boys. You should know.
Jill: Excuse me. If you remember, I was in a teensy bit of pain at the time.
Tim: All I remember is a lot of screaming and whatever sounds you were making.

Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man." You know this guy sitting next to me. It's Al Borland. [cheering] I'd like to continue our week-long salute... [horn sounds with Tool Time theme] ...to customizing your car.
Al: Now, if you'll notice, Tim is wearing a very unique jacket. Tim, if you'd like to take a turn... [jazz plays] Thursday night at a banquet up in Saginaw, the Tri-City Hot Rodders Club is giving Tim one of their most prestigious awards, Car Guy of the Year. [applause]
Tim: I'm not the kind of guy that likes to brag. Aw, heck. Yes, I am. I do a lot of significant things for the auto community.
Al: The Hot Rodders Club is honoring Tim for raising car consciousness.
Tim: You know, I like to build my hot rods right here on Tool Time. It's my way of giving something back.
Al: It's also your way of getting Binford to pay for the parts. And getting free labor from me. [Tim hisses]

Al: All right. Well, getting back to the show today, we'll be talking about car interiors.
Tim: That's right. Door panels, dashboards, carpets.
Al: Now, of course, the car seat is a large part of the interior.
Tim: In Al's case, the seat is a large part of the exterior.

Tim: I told you guys no golf in the house. At least not until I get the water hazard put in.