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The Long and Winding Road (Part 1)

‘The Long and Winding Road (Part 1)’

Season 8, Episode 25 -  Aired May 18, 1999

Tim is unhappy with the changes Tool Time's new producer is making to the show. Meanwhile, Jill gets offered a job in Indiana.

Quote from Tim

Al: Butch, why don't you tell us all what you're into?
Butch: Lubrication. [Tim takes his hand off Butch's shoulder] I believe a good home is a quiet home. No squeaks, creaks or hums. So, I always keep a can or two of oil on hand.
Sue: [scoffs] A can or two? He oils everything we own. He's like the... [bleep] Tin Man.
Tim: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Let's just try to settle down, okay?
Al: Tim's right. We don't allow off-color language on this show.
Butch: That's right, Sue. So, shut your... [beep] mouth.
Sue: Oh, yeah? [beep] ...and the... [beep] horse you rode in on.
Tim: Hey, Wandell! Do something about this.
Morgan: Yeah, you go, girl!

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Quote from Heidi

Sue: I'm so sick of your crappy repairs! And I'm sick of you!
Heidi: You know, ma'am, if you would just...
Sue: Oh, pipe down, Bones! [pushes past Heidi]

Quote from Tim

Morgan: Awesome show, guys!
Tim: What do you mean, "awesome show"? I almost got killed out there!
Morgan: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Those gals were only supposed to threaten their husbands.
Heidi: They were supposed to?
Al: Are you saying that this show was staged?
Morgan: Yeah. Yeah. It looked so real, didn't it? Oh, God, I'm good!
Tim: Morgan, you have made a mockery of everything Channel 112 stands for.

Quote from Jill

Dr. Hanover: Well, he liked the idea of hiring a post-graduate student. And he wanted someone with life experience.
Jill: This is so great. You can't imagine how good the timing is...
Dr. Hanover: Well, there is one thing that you should know.
Jill: How much money will I be making?
Dr. Hanover: Excuse me?
Jill: Cash. Dollars. How much will I be pulling down?
Dr. Hanover: Jill, people don't usually take these entry-level jobs for the money.
Jill: Oh. Oh, of course not. But I might eventually make, say, what you make?
Dr. Hanover: People don't take my job for the money.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Jill, you're not gonna believe this. Sparky found a vacant spot in Woodridge that would be perfect for a classic car showroom.
Jill: Well, I have another location in mind. How about opening a shop in Indiana?
Tim: "Indiana wants me. Lord, I can't go back there."
Jill: Honey, a very prestigious colleague of Dr. Hanover's has offered me a job at his family clinic in Bloomington.
Tim: Must be a pretty screwed up family if they have their own clinic.

Quote from Wilson

Tim: Hey, Wilson.
Wilson: Well, hi-ho, Tim.
Tim: What are you doing?
Wilson: Just hosing off my rocks.
Tim: If your shower's broken, you can use ours.
Wilson: [chuckles] No. No, no, no, no, Tim. I'm washing the rocks that I gathered on my hiking trip to Whitefish Point.

Quote from Brad

Mark: You know, I can't think of one good thing about Indiana.
Brad: They have a town named French Lick.
Mark: Will it be easy for you just to pick up and leave Detroit?
Tim: No! It wasn't easy for me to quit Tool Time, but I did that.
Brad: Yeah. Just when it was starting to get good.
Tim: Women were body-slamming each other!
Brad: Like I said...

Quote from Tim

Tim: Brad, don't forget my car's in the shop. So, I'm gonna take your car and drop you guys off at school.
Brad: Wait, what makes you think you can just take my car just like that?
Tim: Because I paid for half of it "just like that."

Quote from Tim

Jill: So, have a great Tool Time grand finale.
Tim: It's gonna be really emotional.
Jill: Yeah, I know. Do you have enough Kleenex?
Tim: If not, I'm sure we have extra gauze.

Quote from Marty

Tim: What a day! Binford's executive schlockmeister, Morgan Wandell, wants me to do a whole Tool Time just talking. No tools, no projects, no hands-on anything! Isn't that insane?
Marty: How many "P's" in "deposit"?
Tim: Two!
Marty: I was right.

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