Bud: Al, listen, it's nothing personal. I just don't think your style is right for the show.
Tim: Wait a minute. I think you're wrong. I mean, is this man boring? Yes. Is he dull beyond belief? You bet. A fashion nightmare? Tell me somethin' I don't know! Anybody can be hip or exciting. One man dares to be dull. One man has the courage to be monotonous, tedious and uninteresting. That man is Al Borland.
Al: Thank you, Tim.
Tim: It's the interplay between us that makes the show popular.
Bud: Well, Tim, I respect your opinion, but it's just your opinion and it's my money.
Al: Well, Tim is not interested in your money.
Tim: Shut up, Al.

Bud: I've always loved Binford Tools.
Tim: Yeah?
Bud: Yeah. I think Tool Time is a great show.
Tim: You do?
Bud: That's right. And together we can break out of the local market and take it national.
Tim: Yeah. You mean, like, all over Michigan?
Bud: No, no, no. Like, all over the country.

Jill: Where were you? You were supposed to be back from school an hour ago.
Brad: I stayed late. I just wanted to soak up some extra knowledge.
Jill: By any chance, were you soaking up that extra knowledge in detention?
Brad: Hey. Knowledge is knowledge.

Tim: [on the phone] Yes. Uh-huh. Sure. Breakfast would be fine. I get up pretty... He wants to have breakfast at 6am? Sure, I'll just move my lunch to 9:30.

Bud: I plan to sink major dollars into this show. Build new sets.
Tim: Yeah!
Bud: We'll start out at ten new markets...
Tim: Yes!
Bud: ...and as the show becomes more profitable, your salary will be commensurate.
Tim: Oh, boy. There's always a catch, isn't there?
Bud: You'll make more money.
Tim: [grunts] Oh, that commensurate. Yeah!

Al: You know, when people think about construction, they always think about the glory jobs.
Tim: Yeah, your dry wallers, your backhoers, your trench diggers. What about the guys who don't get any glory?
Al: Yeah. What about us?
Tim: I said "unsung heroes," not "unsung zeroes."

Tim: Today we're going to meet the man who services these bad boys. If you think your job stinks, wait till you meet this guy. Premier Porta-Potti popper Frank Dougan. Come on out, Frank.
Frank: How you doin', Tim? [Tim doesn't shake Frank's hand] I get that a lot, you know. [Frank puts his hand on Tim's shoulder]
Tim: Aw, man. Aw, thanks. So, Frank, how did you get in the Porta-Potti business?
Frank: Well, you know, I just kind of fell into it.
Al: So, Frank, you wanna tell us how you keep these maintained?
Frank: Oh, you betcha, Al. You know, what I got is, I got me a big old 20-foot suction hose and I got that sucker hooked up to my pumper truck and on the back I got an 800-gallon tank.
Al: 800?
Frank: Yeah.
Tim: [grunts] You got it made, boy. Good job, huge hose and a big truck.
Frank: Well, that's true, Tim, but you know, there's one thing I don't get: Respect. You know, people walk up to one of these Porta-Potties and they look at it and they stand there and they say... "I'll wait."
Tim: That's gotta hurt, too. I like Porta-Potties. I like these things. I wish I had one next to my couch in the living room. During football season, I'd never have to leave the room.
Al: 'Course, everyone else would.

Tim: Frank, why don't you tell us all about this 35-gallon polyurethane bad boy.
Frank: Oh, you bet. [enters the Porta-Potti] Well, Tim, as you can see, it's very spacious, totally clean, it'll accommodate either one of your sexes - most importantly of all, perfectly private. [closes door]
Tim: There's a man who takes pride in his work. Glorifies his job.
Al: Truly the unsung hero of the job site.
Tim: All right, Frank, come on out and show us how you move these job site to job site. [knocks] Frank.
Frank: [o.s.] Uh, Tim, it's gonna be about another minute. [Tim and Al step away from the Porta-Potti]
Al: [sings along with jingle] He gets no thanks and that ain't right He's an unsung hero of the job site

Al: So did you hear the news? Binford has officially been sold.
Tim: All right. Who was the mystery buyer?
Al: Some guy by the name of Bud Harper.
Tim: Why do I know that name?
Jill: When I was working at the magazine, we did a cover story on him.
Tim: No, I never read the magazine.

Delores: What can I get you guys?
Tim: Big breakfast. Have a big one, a big breakfast. Uh... Eggs, pancakes, toast, breakfast meats - the whole left side of the menu. Same for you Bud?
Bud: Oh, no, no. Just coffee for me.
Tim: Oh, no. Oh, no. You gotta have breakfast. It is the foundation meal of the whole day.
Bud: No, just coffee.
Tim: A lot of coffee. Bring a whole bunch of coffee.