‘The Dating Game’
Season 7, Episode 10 - Aired December 9, 1997
After Al finds out that Ilene is engaged again, he is down in the dumps and spending all his time at the Taylors' house. Jill suggests Tim join Al at a singles bar so he might meet someone.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Whoa! Why are you wearing that?
Tim: For the date I'm going on.
Jill: You can't wear that.
Tim: If these pants were any tighter, my navel would be under my Adam's apple.
Jill: Well, I know. I want you to wear looser pants. I mean, you look way too sexy.
Tim: I thought you wanted me to look sexy.
Jill: To pick up a woman, not break up with one.
Tim: So I dress like a slob?
Jill: Yeah, yeah, just dress the way you normally do, the rest will take care of itself.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have to go to the little mechanics room, Al, you wanna join me?
Al: Huh?
Tim: Go change our oil.
Al: Huh?
Tim: Flush our coolants.
Al: What?
Tim: Pee.
Quote from Tim
Donna: So, does your wife know you're at a singles bar?
Tim: [chuckles] It was her idea.
Donna: Oh, you showbiz people are sick.
Quote from Al
Heidi: Ooh, looking good, Al.
Al: Thank you. I've been experimenting with those new volumizing shampoos.
Heidi: Mm-hmm.
Al: Now I've got fluff!
Heidi: Oh, guess what? I ran into Ilene at the health club. I am so happy for her.
Al: Happy about what?
Heidi: You haven't heard the news?
Al: What news?
Heidi: Nothing, nothing.
Al: Heidi, come on, come on. Come on, what news?
Heidi: Al, she's engaged.
Al: What?
Heidi: You know, I could've heard it wrong...
Al: I Oh, boy, engaged? That happened so fast. She... Ilene's changed her whole life around. And, and I've done nothing.
Heidi: But, your hair looks so good.
Quote from Al
Tim: I mean get out, meet some women. You gotta get back in the saddle.
Al: You're right.
Tim: I know I'm right.
Al: What am I waiting for?
Tim: What are you waiting for?
Al: You gotta get back in that saddle!
Tim: Back in that saddle!
Al: Back on that horse!
Tim: Back on that horse!
Al: Lasso that future Mrs. Borland.
Tim: Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay!
Al: [to the stage manager] Howdy! You wanna go out Saturday night? [she laughs]
Quote from Al
Al: So, when's dinner?
Jill: 6:15. Same time it's been every night this week. Al, um, weren't you supposed to have a date tonight?
Al: Well, it wasn't really a date. This lady selling Amway said she might call back.
Jill: Wow. Shouldn't you be home, waiting for the call?
Al: No, I gave her this number. And if she doesn't call back, that's all right too. 'Cause I'm here with the people I love and people who love me.
Tim: Borland, you still here?
Al: Boys, dinner's here! So, chicken, huh? Uh-oh! You always forget the moist towelettes.
Tim: Do I? Where is my mind?
Al: Not to worry, I got some emergency towelettes in the car.
Jill: Emergency towelettes... and he can't get a date?
Quote from Tim
Jill: I've got to find him a woman.
Randy: If Al wants to meet women, why doesn't he go on the internet?
Tim: He tried that. He ended up having coffee with a 60-year-old stripper named Vince.
Quote from Jill
Jill: [into intercom] Tim, you gotta hurry up and get to the bar before all the good women are taken.
Tim: [behind her] OK. Aren't you the least bit worried some woman might fall for me?
Jill: [chuckles] No. You're only gonna be there long enough for Al to meet somebody. That's not long enough for anybody to fall for... You gonna wear this tie?
Tim: What's the matter with this tie?
Jill: Well, it's fine for business, but it's no good if you wanna get some action.
Tim: I'm not looking to get any "action".
Jill: I know, but Al is and you're supposed to be part of a team. You gotta go upstairs and change your pants. You should wear those black jeans.
Tim: The tight ones?
Jill: Oh, yeah. You gotta show off that butt, you know?
Tim: Why would I show off my butt?
Jill: For Al!
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: OK, Tim, spin for your neighbor one more time.
Jill: What do you think? He's going out. I want him to look good.
Tim: She says I should wear tighter pants for Al, I say I look fine, what do you say?
Wilson: Well, how does Al like his men to dress?
Jill: It's not for Al, it's for the single women they're hoping to pick up at the singles bar tonight.
Wilson: Oh, silly me, how could I have missed that?
Jill: No, it's not as bad as it sounds.
Wilson: I certainly hope not.
Quote from Jill
Jill: I want you to go upstairs and stuff yourself into those jeans. Then we're going to talk about some pick-up lines.
Tim: I can use the same pick-up line I used on you.
Jill: I don't think she's really gonna like, "Sorry I hurled on your shoe."