Tim Quote #3304
Quote from Tim in Ploys for Tots
Tim: Hey, Marty. You're doing good. Just hang tough, buddy. You'll be all right.
Claire: [shouts] [o.s.] I said I wanna be with Mommy!
Marty: That's it. Time-out's over. I'm going up there.
Tim: Hold on a second. I'll show you what to do. Take the cookie. Break it in half. Right now. Break it in half. Put half in your mouth. Give me the other half.
Marty: Now what?
Tim: Now we go to Legoland and build a bait and tackle shop and forget about this.
Marty: Oh, come on, come on.
Claire: [o.s.] All I want is that dumb, old cookie! [screams]
Marty: She's gonna hate me for the rest of my life.
Tim: I'll be surprised if in an hour she still hates you, okay? Now, I need a worm cooler, all right? Start on that.
Claire: [o.s.] [shouts] I hate it here so much!
Jill: What's going on?
Tim: We're building a bait and tackle shop during an air-raid siren.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ploys for Tots’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I can't even imagine what he's going through, doing all this parenting alone. I mean, without Jill, I couldn't have had the kids.
Quote from Al
Heidi: Welcome to Remodeling Week here on Tool Time. Now, here's the star of the show, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, everybody. Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Grateful Tool Man" Taylor, and, of course, you all know my assistant.
[Jazzy music plays as Al walks towards the audience, who are applauding him, and salutes them]
Al: Okay, I'm a perch, I'll bite.
Tim: Well, Tim, it's Remodeling Week.
Al: I know that. Well, I've worn this shirt before, so now I'm re-modeling it. [laughs]
Quote from Tim
Al: Uh, all right. Well, over the years, we've shown you a lot of different ways to upgrade your home.
Tim: But when the job is big enough, it's time to ask for the expertise of a licensed, bonded, professional contractor.
Al: But finding a good contractor can be, well, as difficult as finding a date to the prom.
Tim: Yes, it can, Al. But this time, your mom won't bail you out. "Al, I can't fit in a limousine. Better use a backhoe."