Tim Quote #1708
Quote from Tim in Her Cheatin' Mind
Tim: Honey, these days men and women cannot be just friends.
Jill: Really? What about you and Heidi?
Tim: Heidi? She's not my friend, she's a co-worker. To me, Heidi's just Al with less facial hair and a better physique.
Jill: Right, I get 'em mixed up myself.
Tim: The point is, I wouldn't be sittin' in Heidi's Camaro. And if I did, I'd know what year it was.
Jill: Tim, this is a ridiculous conversation. If you had a female friend who shared your interests, I would not get all crazy about it.
Tim: Oh. Is that a fact? So if I start hanging out with this beautiful woman that knew all about big-block 454s, you'd trust me?
Jill: Yeah, I would.
Tim: Now you tell me.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Her Cheatin' Mind’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.
Quote from Tim
Jill: So, don't you have a poker game tonight?
Tim: You know, I thought I'd blow it off tonight.
Jill: What?
Tim: In the hopes of joining the book group.
Jill: Tim, to participate in this book group you have to have read Madame Bovary.
Tim: Ah, yes! Flaubert's brilliant psychological profile... of a woman in search of transcendence.
Sharon: I think that's a very astute synopsis.
Tim: Well, I've always been a very astute synopsizer.
Quote from Jill
Randy: Just got a little book to read. Tale of Two Cities.
Tim: Don't play a tape! Read the book, will ya, Randy?
Randy: I got the idea from you.
Tim: Well, don't tell your mom you got the idea from me.
Randy: Don't worry, Dad. She's not gonna find out.
Male Narrator: [on tape] A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times..."
Jill: [on tape] It's going to be the worst of times for you if you don't turn this off and go read the book! Oh, and I don't care what your father told you.
Tim: Hey, fast-forward past that thing.