Al Quote #216
Quote from Al in No, No, Godot
Tim: You're gonna have a lot more fun tonight than we are.
Officer Keegan: That could be. No, no, no, wait. I got one more thing I gotta show you.
Tim: We gotta go, buddy. We're late.
Al: You have a badge? Did you also play Officer Krupke in West Side Story?
Tim: No, this is Officer Keegan. Precinct 29, Detroit Police Department.
Officer Keegan: That's right. You're under arrest for scalping tickets.
Tim: What?
Officer Keegan: Yeah. Come on, let's go.
Al: I can't believe this! I open up to you by showing you my Pozzo, and you're taking us to jail?
Officer Keegan: Well, first of all, you're not a very good Pozzo. Besides that, scalping is against the law. So come on, let's go.
Al: This is all your fault, Tim.
Tim: Well, I probably could have talked him out of it, if you hadn't pulled your Pozzo out in the parking lot.
More Home Improvement Quotes
‘No, No, Godot’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Mark: Thank you for helping me with my school project, Wilson.
Tim: It's my pleasure, Mark.
Mark: You know, I've always been fascinated with papier-mache. You know, the name is French, but actually it was invented by the Chinese.
Mark: How do you know all this stuff?
Wilson: Mark, I have a tremendous amount of spare time.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Just relax. No one's going to know you're here. It's a holding cell in Detroit. Who's gonna see you here?
George: Hey, aren't you those guys from that TV tool show?
Tim: Yes, I'm Bob Vila, this is Norm. We're back together again.
George: No. You're Tim and Al! [laughs] I used to watch you guys at Jackson State Prison. You got a lot of fans up there. [they laugh]
Tim: Hey! Hey, that's great! Lot of fans up there. We got the 18 to life demographic.
Al Borland Quotes
Quote from Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from This Joke's for You
Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Tim: Al.
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.