Tim Quote #725
Quote from Tim in Shooting Three to Make Tutu
Tim: Come sit on the couch here. I made this tape for people who are prejudiced against the ballet, OK? OK, welcome to the More Power Ballet Hour.
Jill: What?
Tim: Tonight's feature is Prince Ziegfried in Eat My Dust. [ballet video plays] Oh, it's a happy day in the village. The peasants are awaiting the arrival of the talented Prince Ziegfried. [basketball video plays] There he is, the prince now. Oh, look. The prince slam dunks. Whoo! Nice. [ballet video plays] And the peasants rejoice. But just then the evil baron escapes his dungeon. [American football video plays] And Ziegfried's army pursues him. Go, go, go, go, go! The baron is tackled at about the 37-yard line. [ballet video plays] And the peasants...
Jill: rejoice.
Tim: But Ziegfried, wanting to escape his enemies, mounts his trusted steed and pulls a 6-5 ET at 220 miles an hour. [motor racing video plays] [ballet video plays] And the peasants rejoice. Look at those guys. Hence, the title of my piece, Eat My Dust or...
Both: The Peasants Rejoice.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Shooting Three to Make Tutu’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: [theme music starts] Ah! There's the theme music. You know what time that means it is.
Al: Time to hear another word from Binford about some of their fine new products.
Tim: That's right. I'd like to introduce you to Binford's small line of industrial magnets.
Al: The MiniMag 100 is perfect for picking up screws and nails. It can also pick up small tools that have carelessly been dropped behind the workbench. Perhaps the fault of a coworker.
Quote from Randy
Randy: Are you gonna call before you come home?
Jill: Why are you asking me that?
Randy: No reason.
Jill: Yeah, right. I think that you should know that I could be home at any moment. Now, Wilson is gonna be next door the whole time if you need anything. And here are the emergency numbers right here.
Randy: We know. We know. We call them all the time for Dad.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: How much ballet have you actually seen?
Tim: Well, counting the 30 minutes I saw today, about 36 minutes, lifetime total.
Wilson: Well, then I would have to say that your opinion is based on ignorance.
Tim: You just called me ignorant?
Wilson: Well, when it comes to ballet, I guess I did. Ignorance is a breeding ground for prejudice.
Tim: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. You ask anybody. I'm not a prejudiced guy.
Wilson: Not against people. Perhaps against ideas, though. See, Tim. Anytime a man forms an opinion that's not based on facts, then he's a fool.
Tim: Oh, great, great, great. Now I'm an ignorant, prejudiced fool.
Wilson: Mm-hm.