Jill Quote #1064
Quote from Jill in Love's Labor Lost (Part 1)
Tim: How are you feeling?
Jill: Fine. I wasn't fine when I first heard about the surgery, but once I worked through my feelings, now it's just... I really want to go home.
Tim: I know you're scared.
Jill: What if they take my ovaries? You know, once I get on that table, that doctor has carte blanche.
Tim: Come on, he's not gonna take anything he doesn't need. The guy's not working on commission.
Jill: I don't know. He drives a really nice cervix.
Tim: Lexus.
Jill: I wish my mother lived nearer. She'd be good to have around right now.
Tim: You've had way too much Demerol, my friend. Your mom drives you crazy when you're sick.
Jill: Well, that's just about little things, you know? But this is big. She's good with big.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Love's Labor Lost (Part 1)’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hold on a minute. It's very simple. If you were to cross-section a woman, inside, it looks like a moose head with antlers. And what they want to do is just remove the moose head part of that, and leave the antlers intact.
Mark: What?
Brad: What?
Tim: Illustration would be good, here. Think of your mom as a sink. She looks good on the outside, runs hot, runs cold, but she's having a little problem with the women plumbing department. Her disposal is stuck in the on position. She has to have it removed, because she hasn't seen a licensed plumber in two-and-a-half years. But, good news is, she doesn't really need the disposal anyway.
Mark: I'm gonna go look it up on the Internet.
Tim: Well, suit yourselves, fellas. But I don't think it can get any clearer than this.
Quote from Tim
Marty: That's about the only good thing that came out of my separation with Nancy. No more gynecologist stuff. No more midnight tampon runs. You can never get the right kind.
Tim: "You idiot! I said the super, not the slims!"
Marty: Pads, panty liners. There's, like, four thousand different kinds.
Tim: Maxis, minis...
Marty: Absorbent, super-absorbent, with baking soda?
Tim: My favorite. My favorite. Ultra-slim overnights, with wings.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Well, how will having no uterus affect her? Will we have to get her a special dog?
Dr. Fields: He is joking, right?
Jill: You can't be sure 100% of the time.