Jill Quote #1049
Tim: Well, once I get it finished, I gotta think of some exciting way to show it to the audience.
Jill: Well, how about this? Okay, you start up the engine, you drive it out.
Tim: I like it.
Jill: People everywhere are cheering.
Tim: They're cheering.
Jill: Then you make this big announcement. "This is the last hot rod I will ever build."
Tim: Good one.
Quote from Brad
Jill: Look, I know the video was bizarre. But isn't there something that you can do?
Tim: Sure. I could present it to the devil as an offering.
Jill: Couldn't you do some sort of special blooper show?
Brad: Mom, Dad already has one. It's called Tool Time.
Quote from Wilson
[As Tim bends down to pick up firewood next to the fence, Wilson slaps him with an animal hide]
Wilson: Happy Valentine's Day, good neighbor.
Tim: Why don't you just send a greeting card?
Wilson: Well, some historians claim that Valentine's Day can be traced to the ancient festival of Lupercalia. See, in Rome, people would slap each other using animal pelts, to heighten fertility.
Tim: We used to do that in high school. Using a wet towel would just heighten people's voices. [fake groaning]
Wilson: It is great fun, I'll tell you. I bet Jill would love to strike you with an animal hide.
Tim: I bet you Mark would like to take a whack at me himself.
Wilson: Yeah. Jill told me about the video.
Tim: I cannot show that video on Tool Time. On the other hand, I don't want to discourage the kid from doing something he's passionate about.
Wilson: So, in the words of the Anglican leader Lorenzo Dow, "You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't."
Tim: You can go back to your lubrication festival.
Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.